I noticed that WordPress has option of setting goals. I decided I’d sign up for a monthly post. I’ve become a big believer in changing life’s misdirection in 21 days. Even a habit formed over 46 years really can be changed in three weeks.
I am 47 and all I know is what I don’t want to do. I know what I like to do, and even know where my passions lie. AND where my passions tell the truth. I like to write but don’t give a shit about being published–or even read. It’s nice to connect, to offer insight, to be understood, to be misunderstood, to be read, to be misread… . It’s nice but it doesn’t drive me. There’s so much good stuff and crap out there. I don’t think my thoughts and musing are more or less valuable. I just know pushing them into a saturated market makes them clutter and repetition. Sure, I have a unique voice and perspective. Everyone does. So what?
All well and good, but I hafta produce something to justify my existence on this planet. I hafta have someone deem me worthy of a paycheck so I don’t hafta feel guilty about my daily eating habit. And that brings me to what I know I don’t want to do. I don’t want to participate in the madness that is our cancerous economy. I spent several years trying to wrap my brain around the “science” of economics and what I’ve finally realized is it is all a bullshit construct to justify modern feudalism enforced by control freaks who drive an engine that uses fear as fuel.
What if it really is true that all I need fear is fear? What if I need not fear even the fearmongers who divert trillions of dollars and billions of lives into their war machine and agriBUSINESS? What if enough of us stopped paying to be poisoned and stopped allowing corporate welfare like the billions handed to Monsanto in the guise of “farm subsidies”? What if I really am master of my fate? And what if my identity can’t be stolen because it is intrinsic to and defined by ME? What if I realized no person is my enemy just by trying to do what is best to fix her/his part of the world the best s/he knows how? What if I realized peace is more powerful than chaos? joy more powerful than stress? love more powerful than hate? laughter ten times more potent than scream (as Monsters Inc. taught us)?
So, on the last day of April I ask a few questions and hopefully I’ll have an answer by the end of May. May be. 😀