Kids Say the Darndest and Most Brilliant Things

My brother and his wife have two sons. Their younger son (age 4) has said some of the most quotable familiar lines. A few weeks ago, he was at my ‘rents house and was admiring my mom’s starfish. Mom tried to explain to her five-year-old grandson that humans have bones IN their bodies but creatures like starfish have bones on the outside. To which clever Mason explained to his less educated grandmother, “Oh, yeah. It’s called an ‘exoskeleton’.”

Mason has always been fascinated by nature. He was always collecting and staring at things like flowers and pine cones, and did even as an infant. About a year ago, we were at the Pekar farmhouse. The kids were in the yard and I announced to no one in particular, “Do y’all wanna go pick lemons?” Mason started running full-speed and yelled, “Boy, do I ever!?! I REALLY DO!” Then I asked if he knew where the lemon tree is because he was running in the wrong direction. 

About three years ago, our yard flooded. Mason and I were walking around in the flooded yard. Having grown up in coastal SE Texas, I’ve seen my share of rising waters and I know the joy and hazards of floods. I said to Mason, “If it weren’t for ants and snakes, floods would be cool.” A look of complete confusion washed over Mason’s countenance as he inquired, “Ants and snakes make the water warm?”

When my older son was about four, he decided he wanted a pet dinosaur. I said we couldn’t have a pet dinosaur because they are extinct. Darion thought about this problem for just seconds and announced a solution, “We’ll give him a bath!”

Coming home from Dallas this past May, we had a flat. My insurance has roadside assistance. Minga (10) and Dessa (8) were with me. When I explained whom I had called and why, the girls–in sync and tune–sang, “Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.” I corrected them. “It’s Farmers.” Without skipping a beat, the two sang out, “We are Farmers! Bomp-pe-dompa DUM.” I can’t say I’m proud, but it sure was cute.

My sister’s son (when he was about four) was in daycare and had a cold. He was scolded for wiping his snotty nose on another kid’s sleeve. Devan explained he was only doing what his mom had told him to do. “My mom told me not to wipe my nose on my shirt.” Another day at this daycare, Devan was obviously anxious and upset. After hours of observing his suffering, someone asked what’s the matter. “My dad is going to be burned because I was slow this morning.” My brother-in-law was trying to inspire my nephew to get moving by saying, “If we’re late, I’ll get fired.”

But at least his dad wasn’t purposely deceptive. I had giant spoon and fork on my kitchen wall (I inherited them from my dear aunt Dorothy). Devan asked what purpose the utensils serve. I explained that I have a giant friend that picnics with us every Thursday at noon. “How does he fit in the house?” my nephew queried. I explained that THAT is why we picnic. “What about when it rains?” We hafta cancel our lunch date. Devan’s eyes lit up, “We have 32″ ceilings in our living room!” I agreed his house would be perfect. And then I forgot about my giant friend until one Thursday morning when I showed up at Dev’s house and he excitedly greeted me at the door knowing I had come to pick him up so he could join the picnic.

Last week the kids and their dad gathered around the Ikea island to learn/play dominoes. Minga asked, “Is this family game night?” A sibling answered, “No, mom’s not here.” Another added, “But she’s doing something important.” Delia yelled to the kitchen where I slaved over the stove, “Thanks for making dinner, mom!” To which Dessa added, “And us!”

This past school year I had two kids in junior high and learned from an automated phone message that Open House was in a couple of hours. I loaded the four kids I had at home into the Expedition and off to Open House we went. At the event, Delanie (who was in town) asked if I could give a couple of her friends a ride. Into the Expo, eight folks loaded. Once in, considering the crowds of minors, it was oddly quiet. The strange quiet was broken by an announcement Delia made. “I suppose you are all wondering why I have gathered you here today.” 🙂 Well, YES, I am INDEED wondering, silly girl!!!”

I know there are many, many more but unfortunately my memory isn’t as brilliant as my kids are.


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