Happy Uterine Exodus! (June 5th fb post)

I was on my way to Will’s funeral just over a year ago when I got a call from SJHS over 300 miles from where I was at the time. Seeing a school’s number on the caller ID usually causes a parent’s brain to whirl with concerns. This call was about an excuse I had written for my Derrick. The JH secretary started to read the note: “It says Derrick had ‘chronic uterine exodus celebritis.'” I responded, “Yeah, I know. I wrote the note. It was his birthday skip.” I used the term “birthday skip” as if it were a recognized and permissible concept in places other than my own home. It should be! The humorless secretary seemed to be thrown off-track by my absurd logic. I asked “Is there a problem?” Yes. He will not be excused. To which I replied, “We knew the job was dangerous when we took it.” Derrick didn’t skip on his birthday this year, but he did have an episode of sinusitis shortly thereafter.

Speaking of birthdays, I think it’s sweet that I’ve been invited to share even more data about myself with yet another website so that acquaintances can be reminded what day I was born. Even if I thought my birthday should be a big deal, getting 456 “Happy Birthday!!!”s wouldn’t be my idea of a big deal. Being born isn’t a big deal. Everybody I’ve ever met was born. I have proposed we all pick a day where we announce to “HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!” to all our friends. At first I thought it should be one day for all facebook users, but that would be overwhelming. Each user should pick her/his own day. I have picked June 6th. 

That in mind, happy one-day early “CONGRATULATIONS on your auspicious uterine expulsion! You ROCK!”


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